I’m moody, I cry, I get outrageously angry over situations I can’t control. More often than not, I took it personally.
Some call it “a woman thing”, some say I need backbone, and I believed these things too until I heard about other HSPs.
Highly Sensitive Person.
You can call it an excuse, or a the official name for a “sissy”, but I identify as one. An HSP can experience many different things, including anxiety, social difficulty, and a sensitivity to just about anything bold. We are so intensely aware of our surroundings that it overwhelms us. I’m not a hermit, I constantly talk with my family (to the point that they find other things to do), and I am not afraid to live my life.
According to the Myers Briggs’ typology test, I am an INFJ.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was an introvert – I have an intense need for time alone to recharge after exhausting social interactions throughout the day. Most times after going out with friends, I come home and take a nap. But I love my introvertedness, and it has gifted me with a beautiful outlook on life that allows me to feel things so deeply.
Reading on my personality a little more, I found that The Personality Page labels me as a “Protector”, with traits such as intuition, strong bonds with other people, and a deep, overall complexity.
I am difficult to figure out. I am a contradiction.
Over the past two years, I’ve discovered the gift of independence, and the ability to create my own life according to what I want, and only what I want. Sometimes, I feel so free-spirited and ready to pack a bag and move to a different state. I want to not only work for the United Nations, I want to get my hands dirty and say that these hands made a difference. I imagine myself knee deep in a Masters program at a recognized institution, becoming me.
But, I’m also super conservative.
I long for the comfort of my home and what’s familiar to me. Interviewing for jobs horrifies me, and I wish that we didn’t have to put on a fake face to impress people. Being something I am not only tires me, it is ethically wrong. But I want to impress so badly. I want to amaze people with my work, which could ultimately be my downfall.
Being a Highly Sensitive Person, I find safety in happy things, in hope. Hoping to work in advocacy communication, I realize how many people will reject my plans and my ideas. I want to
fight for change.
I get myself worked up, I always assume problems include me. I am a perfectionist, and it’s emotionally wearing.
I am happy that I’ve discovered the term HSP, and am glad to be able to identify with other INFJs to better understand why I am the way that I am, and how I can learn to cope with my sensitivity.
We can be contradictions, and that’s okay because we are well rounded and experience the best of both worlds. If you are highly sensitive, appreciate your gift to feel so deeply.